


Mistletoe Mayhem

by AbsurdAngel



Category: Justice League International (Comics)
Genre: Comedic Kissing, Comedic Violence, Community: dckinkmeme, Crack Pairings, Multi, rarepairs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:55:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28445025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbsurdAngel/pseuds/AbsurdAngel
Summary: Booster and Beetle hang up mistletoe in JLI HQ. Chaos ensues.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 4





	Mistletoe Mayhem

**Author's Note:**

> From [this prompt](https://dckinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/1454.html?thread=2890926#cmt2890926) on the DC Kinkmeme.

The mistletoe goes up on December 1st. Neither Booster or Beetle were particularly Christmasy people - Boostle coming a few centuries after Christmas celebrations fell out of fashion and an atheist to boot, Beetle being Jewish. That wasn’t the point, though.

The point was bwa-ha-ha, and there’d been plenty of that. Their first victims were Dmitri and Buddy, who tied up the doorway for a good thirty minutes negotiating with their wives. The best part was Batman was stuck behind them and the two troublemakers were able to escape well before the big bad Bat could get to them.

Booster had the good fortune to be stuck behind Bea and Tora. The entryway was half flooded and half scorched by the time the ladies were done and Booster’s Sundollar Peppermint Latte was ice cold. Booster considered it well worth it, though he forgot to take pictures much to Beetle’s dismay.

Other highlights included Orion and Scott (“I can’t kiss him, he’s my brother!” “You think of me as a brother?” The subsequent famial bonding battle took out a water-damged wall and the lights.) Tora got her lips frozen to Captain Atom’s cheek. (Ted got his pictures this time and he intended to hold them over Captain Traitor’s head for years.) Rex and Ralph got cheered on by their wives, who followed up with a kiss of their own.

Ted even managed to score a quick, perfunctory kiss from Power Girl and didn’t get punched into orbit. He’d counted that as a win.

All in all, the mistletoe prank was a resounding success.

The the Guy/J’onn incident happened. No one could agree on an exact sequence of events, but it ended with yet another gaping hole in the roof and the sofa on fire.

In the aftermath, Ted was tasked with removing the offending mistletoe from the miraculously intact doorway. (Booster the traitor, had already flown off.) At the top of a ladder, Ted regretted using the new superglue he’d been working on. None of the solvents Ted had on hand could make a dent. He’d climbed down, intending to go to the shop to look for something more effective when he walked straight into a very unamused Maxwell Lord.

“Beetle, mind telling me what the hell happened here?” Max yelled.

“Um, well there was mistletoe” and here is where the poor beleaguered bug made the mistake of pointing up at the offending mistletoe.

Max compounded this mistake by looking up. He tried backing away. If no one sees it didn’t happen right?

“All right! Go Beetle! Scoring with the boss!” Of course nosey detective Ralph Dibny shows up when he’s least wanted.

“Did the mistletoe get another one?” Bea asked, poking her head around the door. Then she laughed when she saw who if was.

“What’s going on? Am I missing somethi- oh...” Captain Atom said, with his usual impeccable timing.

“Teddy’s gotta kiss the boss,” Ralph said unhelpfully.

Max looked to Ted for help. The idiot was already puckering up. Max sighed and shoved Ted away. Their audience booed.

“Oh just kiss him already, Max!” Bea shouted.

Fine. He grabbed the idiot by his shoulders and planted one firmly on his mouth while the peanut gallery whistled and called for tongue(well, Bea did, anyways.) Then he shoved Ted away and shouted over his shoulder that if the mistletoe isn’t down by the time he leaves they can all find new jobs for Christmas.

The sounds of immature bickering proceeded by crashing and swearing followed him up the stairs and down the hall to his office. He slammed, muffling the sounds of mayhem from below. Finally some peace and quiet so he can work.

That’s when an explosion rocked the building and Max dove under his desk. When he the shaking subsided he risked peeking out to see that the entire front wall had crumbled. Captain Atom stood in the middle of the rubble, clutching a singed piece of mistletoe and looking rather sheepish. Max sighed and reached for the bottle of vodka he kept for these situations. 

He knew he shouldn’t’ve come in today.


End file.
